moose mousse

goodbye

2007-08-28T00:29:00.000+08:00

dear friends, i'm afraid it's time to say goodbye. i don't know what i'd to to moosemousse. might just keep it, might not. i think i might leave moosemousse and start anew. anyway, don't think i'd update here anymore. email me at julithegreat@gmail.com and let me know if you're interested to know how messed up my life is and i'll give you my new blog address. bye.

the bitch

2007-07-30T21:33:00.000+08:00

i officially declare july 2007 the horriblest period of my life.

so much had happened already and i had to crash my dad's car this morning. don't know why, but i just had to.

and to come home to be lectured about how we could learn important life lessons from the mistakes made from driving accidents. bottom line is, one should never be too cocky in life. it is okay to take risks, but never think you're superior. well, that's what i got from the lecture during dinner.

sigh.

i still feel extremely distressed and somewhat bitter, but i'm hoping that i'd regain my old nonchalant self soon or i'd go insane. though still very much a wreck, a tiny part in my tells me that things will be alright and that i shall overcome this - only that it takes time. and it's telling me that i'm rather content despite the circumstances.

don't want to ramble on. end of story is that i still think that life's a bitch. also a few other people in this world and a couple of douche bags.

headache

2007-07-20T17:33:00.001+08:00

ooh, my boob suddenly feels itchy. would be too obvious if i scratched it in this blinding white fluorescent-lit office. good, the itch is gone now.

had oily fried kuey teow for lunch, which made me fall asleep yet again right after at the office. then i got a headache and got away with not going into programming meeting.

but mary, i really had and still having a headache. so, i'm not lying.

should get back to work already.

here, a song that has been in my head lately.

movie script ending

2007-07-18T09:58:00.000+08:00

i still think life is trying to play a big joke on me. either that or karma has decided to catch up and now i'm drowning in all these emotions, which is driving me totally crazy. if only my life could be just like a movie, and i could just fast forward all the rough times to get to the happy ending.

the days are pretty hard to get by, as i'm left with no real reason to live.

starting to slack off at work and though i'm sick worried of the consequences of not following up on my projects, i still find myself moping in the office and dozing off in front of the computer.

(boss, if you ever read this, what i said is not entirely true - about the moping and dozing off during office hours)

it is hard, not to have that person whom you trusted so dearly and you would confide to that person just about anything and everything anymore. it kills you inside to know that that person is still there but yet not really.

sometimes i just wish that i'd get run over by a bus or something. or blown up into many pieces. maybe even dress up in a deer suit in a forest during hunting season - to get myself shot by hunters.

maybe i should really consider getting a paintball gun and start planning my shooting rampage. i'll make headlines cause i'd only aim at the male population's scrotum and some female latinos might even get hurt along the way.

stars are blind and so are you

2007-07-10T15:18:00.001+08:00

it's really nice to know that people do care and although i'm not a great friend who never really returns phone calls or smses, my friends whom i've not been keeping in touch with just popped out of nowhere. well, not literally.

anyway, i thank you for making it feel as if life's still worth living.

in these times of distress and confusion, i'm trying hard to lift my head up high and live my life by the day. all this frustration, anger, sorrow and bitterness is driving me crazy inside out. i smile, but it doesn't feel like i'm really smiling inside.

should really consider converting to, if not understanding buddhism a bit more. maybe i should take yoga classes, or play tennis (myself?) in the weekends or even blog about happy stuff and pretend i'm a bimbo by acting dumb all the time and listen to paris hilton.

i am now on a quest. don't want to be bitter no more.

this will be my pursuit of happyness.

touché

2007-07-06T17:00:00.001+08:00

and this is another song which is being played over and over again on my ipod at the moment.

maybe this would be my song of the year.

choux pastry heart

2007-07-06T16:54:00.001+08:00

here's a song dedicated to myself.

it's so beautifully sad.

moving on

2007-07-06T09:53:00.001+08:00

never thought that i'd come to terms with it so quickly. of course it still hurts and it hurts so bad. but i've decided to give it another chance and just am hoping that the promise would be kept.

if you ask me what would i do if it happened again, i'd say i really don't know.

never really trusted anyone and will never will.

i'm really afraid. but i've to move on. perhaps things would turn out to be good or worse, nobody knows. but i'm definitely hoping that i wont be hurt again.

it's really not too much to ask for, just to be loved and not to be hurt. or is it?

so many thoughts came across my mind. right now, i'm trying to nurse this broken heart and i'm telling her to try to accept the things that had happened. though hard to do so, she obliged. she's been through a lot recently and this was a pretty big blow to her. but i'm proud of her, for she is still strong. i promise her, this is the last time i'm putting her through this.

and my brain has been telling her that she would and perhaps could revenge for her if anything should happen to her again. it's telling my heart that i could perhaps do much worse a damage to another.

there's nothing that i can do now but to let things be, i guess.

so please don't hurt me again.

i will die.

and i promise you that.

hurt

2007-07-05T09:15:00.001+08:00

guess i never expected it to happen but it did. my worst nightmares came true and i thought i could take it but i somehow feel very hurt. it's not the fact that it was done, but the fact that there are emotional strings attached to it.

thought i was always on top but somehow there's competition that i don't even know why i'm bothered with so much.

it does hurt pretty bad, unfortunately.

and i'm not sure if i'd stay on top of the list but it seems that i'm losing the game. maybe it's time to leave? really don't want to be hurt anymore.

a perturbed horse painting

2007-06-29T17:51:00.001+08:00

it has been an emotional roller coaster for me these past weeks. work days has been draggy recently and the occasional worries about work is just not letting me have my peace of mind. on top of that, i just got bombed by the program department on the publicity part.

great.

they think it's so easy and that things can be done with just a snap of a finger. well, maybe there are people who could easily pull it off - with some contacts and all. unfortunately, i'm still building my contacts and being the underdog radio station it is a wee bit hard to make things go our way sometimes.

and they never took account that by sending me the confirmed yet inadequate details just recently is also part of the reason for not having much publicity yet. they either think i'm superwoman or that i've got nothing else to do than to just focus on publicity.

*dumbass mofo twats, i'll smack you across your face with a rotten swordfish then run you over with a hippopotamus*

anyway, i'm holding a grudge against the programming people now. but only those i know who was bitching at the meeting earlier. yes, i know who you are although i wasn't at the meeting. have a rough idea.

bunch of *cough*fucktards*cough*.

when i go berserk one day, i'll barge into the office and shoot your balls with a paintball gun.

my version of the ultimate slumber party

2007-06-18T20:07:00.000+08:00

so here are my photos of last wednesday's party. i'm still not very good with the dslr, so the photos are actually pretty crappy.

meet kamelia and her firedancer friends. they're pretty cool kids and they don't drink. here they are, warming up a bit before starting.

kamelia, doing her thing. she's one of my favorite interns. she was doing her internship with us sometime last year.

then this dude came and did a whole bunch of fast swings and all. kerosene was flying all over the place as he swung those thingamajig like whirlwinds. he did seem like he was possessed or something for that few minutes.

here are the boys, doubling it up. really awesome, but i didn't get that many shots.

starting of event, where nisha looked really beautiful that night. dilly did a really good job with the make-up.

tim & will on stage for a quick chat with jd to do a quick promo on their new morning show. as usual, tim's wearing his ugly beige crocs.

his name was michael then he became a joe. or the other way around. he's weird but definitely the most sporting cab driver in the world. he lost the pussycat doll dance competition to dalbir, who did a slut dance move on one of the headless + armless + legless mannequins.

there's more, but too much of something is never good. and of course, i'd finish off with a gorgeous photo of me and my friends from 1u - miki, shuk and her sister (also known as shuk).

my body's still sore from carrying shitloads of stuff back and forth yesterday. wait for my next bitchy entry about our father's day event.

*snigger*

the ultimate slumber party

2007-06-16T13:34:00.000+08:00

wednesday night was yet another battle of mars and venus forfeit. this time, it's at bar savanh and the event turned out pretty alright.

as usual, i was the photographer and i took a lot of cool shots (least i think they are) of my ex-intern and her friends doing the firedance outside the entrance of bar savanh. and all the photos i took that night is uploaded in edmund's computer at the office. so, i don't have any at home but i took a few off tim's webpage.

i find his photos annoyingly slant. makes me feel like cropping it to make it straight but i can't be bothered. he did take some nice photos and i could take a few of the slant ones but all? it was all taken with that angle - except for the couple taken by others of him.

i'll try to remember to get my photos when i get to the office later.

my dad is stronger than yours

2007-06-16T12:12:00.000+08:00

working tomorrow. we're having a father's day event at sunway lagoon and i've managed to get my friends to join.

it's going to be a fun thing, for them at least, as it'll be a race between families at the park. i'd definitely join for the fun, if not for the grand prize - a pair of tickets to paris. i think the teams would enjoy it and get to spend time with their family.

so i'll be there from 8am till evening and going over later today for the setup. hope everything would go well tomorrow. i have this feeling that i'd be running all over the place. but then again, maybe not.

it's not my project but i'm in charge now cause edmund had to be in penang. else, i'd get to laze around at sunway lagoon tomorrow. tee hee.

will try to put up some photos of the event next week. if anyone in kl happens to read this and is interested in joining, do let me know. i still need 3 more teams of 4 family members. no registration fee, no nothing, even entry passes and food are provided.

see, told you i'd join if i could!

the hardest word

2007-06-12T18:48:00.001+08:00

spinster

2007-06-11T22:00:00.000+08:00

suddenly realized that i'm getting old - seriously. always thought that i'd get married between the age of 24 - 27 and now that i'm 24, don't think i'd actually get married within the next few years.

how did this topic come about? well, i bumped into boss' wife at the train station and it was a pleasant experience though short. anyway, i was thinking how sweet a couple she and boss make and their daughter is really adorable too.

then i wondered if i was being a kiss ass to boss by telling him how much i admire his wife. the answer came to a no, for we do have so much in common - personality wise. she has this quiet confidence and though she seems shy, her gestures and attitude towards people are warm and friendly (okay, maybe i'm not that nice but our personalities are almost similar).

i remembered that she was only a few years older than i am and that means she got married at about my age or so.

hence, the marriage thing. wonder if i'd ever get married. would like to have children but i'm not ready to settle down just yet. perhaps i'm afraid of commitments, though i never admit it. am still young and i certainly wouldn't want to be tied up (not literally, you bondage freak!) at this moment.

but i love kids and told my sister over the weekend about the boy i met in the train and how i wanted to adopt a child immediately. or i might just kidnap the next adorable kid i see.

*evil laughter*

monday schmonday

2007-06-11T16:15:00.000+08:00

so i hate mondays. work today is driving me absolutely crazy cause i'm dreading every minute spent sitting here.

sure, i have some stuff to settle. and not that i'm totally slacking off, it's just that i'm working at a less productive rate - i reply on average an email and make two phone calls per hour. it's not too bad, is it?

anyway, just found out a new executive will be joining us - well, the 988 side. she's a friend of edmund. don't know why, but i'm getting a bad vibe from this whole thing. she's got a cute face and she does somehow look familiar but i don't think i've ever met her before. maybe i'm just intimidated or something.

think i'm experiencing what daffyd, the only gay in the village (little britain) did when another gay moves in to the welsh town of llanddewi brefi.

except that i'm not really gay and the new girl's not gay either. maybe it's the fact that she's an australian university graduate as well? but i don't think so. perhaps i'm just worried that her cute face would make her the most popular girl in the company - although i'm not one. hehe.

guess i'm just sick and tired of working. i need a holiday. and my hong kong trip is well over 140 days to come.

ugh.

she came and left

2007-06-09T13:27:00.000+08:00

it's been a week since dom left. the office was rather quiet, but it was still alright as it somehow seems as if she was at the star's office for a week.

i missed having someone to talk to. whenever i've anything on my mind, i'd find myself at the program department talking to dom. she's such a great listener and although she doesn't have many stories about herself, her friends' stories are fascinating enough.

there's so much to tell her, so much to share. it's sad to know that a colleague who has became a close friend and confidante is no longer there.

no more annoying smells of dewberry body lotion, no more pointing out at her dry skin, no more photocopy dates, no more taunts, no more crazy 'feng-tau'-rain-dance and a whole lot of no mores.

she dropped by the office yesterday, and i was desperate to tell her everything. too bad she had to leave so soon, else we'd get to catch up on the past week's happenings. does feel weird not having someone to talk to anymore.

boo hoo.

a simple smile

2007-06-08T20:11:00.000+08:00

just got home. felt like writing this down immediately cause i want to remember this later on in my life.

my train ride home was the usual, but not as crowded as it was already getting late. halfway through, a young malay boy between 8-10 years sat opposite. at first, i didn't notice him. he held a big striped tote with a mydin plastic bag dangling from his hand to the floor.

he wore a white sarawak t-shirt, black bermudas and slippers. then i noticed his face - he had a really cute one. "such an adorable kid", i thought to myself. his big brown eyes scanned the train and he looked at the route map at the top of the doors as we passed each station.

and then he caught me staring at him. i smiled, for he looked so adorable.

the journey was long, and we caught each other's eyes again. this time, he smiled for he was shy. then we happen to look at each other again and we both started laughing in silence, uncontrollably. my cheeks started to blush and he tried to hide his smile with his one free hand.

many a times our eyes met and we tried not to laugh. it somehow turned out to be a game of endurance - one which you're not supposed to laugh or grin in the train.

we arrived at my stop and i reluctantly waved goodbye.

this is a story to remind all of us how a simple thing can be so beautiful. all the worries in the world suddenly disappears when you stop to think and just appreciate the simple pleasures in life. and this little boy, with ever curious and intriguing eyes has made my day.

always look on the bright side of life

2007-06-08T17:05:00.001+08:00

am feeling a little mellow today. it's sad to know how some things are not meant to be and you'd never find out if it'd even work out in the end.

life always puts you on the spot, where a decision is needed and there is no room for uncertainties. never understood why things have to be so complicated when you could live without a care and not having to worry at all.

my thoughts are in a mess at the moment.

but i've decided to let things be. was chatting with marco, my ex-housemate in perth and he reminded me how short life is and that we should be doing things that make ourselves happy. he's right - and also very hippie. upon telling me that, he realized that he just gave me a very hippie advice.

so don't worry, be happy.

*whistles*

may is gay

2007-06-07T22:13:00.000+08:00

a lot had happen last month. and i look fat in the photo with gladys.

ayu the receptionist told me i got fatter compared to when i joined the company last year. so i'm more determined to lose weight now. 3 days of super dry tuna pasta for lunch should already help kick off my healthy eating campaign. though dinner is a totally different thing, i try not to binge while sitting in front of the computer at work. and cut down on the mamak food.

*boring*

anyway, sitting at the pantry was interesting. kak mah, the tea lady is so adorable and she's so nice. she's like everyone's grandmother in the office and she calls timmund (the only person i know with the name) - timun, which means cucumber in malay. it's so funny.

ooh, i bought a satsuma body polish from body shop today and used it immediately. it has a light orangy smell and it's a light scrub that can be used daily. skin feels smoother after use. i love it!

okay, bed time. i've been trying to get to work early and tag in before 9am but i'm always a few minutes late! super annoying, i tell you. this is due to hr who suddenly decides to issue a report to all departments and requires every staff who goes to work later than 9am to give a reason as to why you're late for work.

if you tag in at 9.03am, you're late! the number would be in red. needless to say if you're later than that, the number will be in red too. but 9.00am sharp, late! ridiculous, i say!

nevertheless, i'm determined to have a non-red number in my report!

beshena!

2007-06-06T20:53:00.000+08:00

everyone, meet my sister.

her name is julia and she is obviously not as hot as i am.

though younger, people sometimes think she's the older sister. which of course, is not always a bad thing.

she says 'beshena', which nobody really knows what it means and neither does she.

a brat, she is and could be very disrespectful at times, she's still my sister. i know, i'm the best sister ever.

*sniggers*

okay, maybe not the best but the coolest.

fo shizzle mah nizzle.

bbq buffet

2007-06-04T21:22:00.000+08:00

don't remember eating so much in a long time. went to millennium for a bbq buffet to celebrate my uncle's birthday - his treat. the traffic jam was horrific on saturday evening due to the traffic jam and thanks to that road at imbi being closed, cars was barely moving on the roads in bukit bintang.

anyway, we were a little late but wasted no time to get food immediately after arriving at the table where the rest of the family's already eating. the buffet spread was fabulous and i had rounds after rounds of food. don't quite remember when was the last time i was so happy to just be with family and lots of food around.

wonder when the next buffet thing going's to happen again.

waiting for nothing

2007-06-02T11:06:00.001+08:00

wanted to go to queen's park at 10am but looks like i'm not going as my uncle wanted to come along. then he had to make an important phone call and then mum called up to tell us to meet them at alor for breakfast.

no way, i'm not going there. my sister was on the phone with her and apparently we're to go to alor cause "it's an order".

please.

i don't give a rat's ass.

now i'm upset cause my plans of going to queens park in the morning is scrapped. and they're absolutely not making me go to alor.

oh, they're home already? hmm...

well, whatever their plans are i'm not stepping foot in alor. just don't feel like going there for some unknown reason. maybe it's the crowd that i'm trying to avoid.

anyway, i'm rambling incessantly today simply cause i'm bored.

bleh.

:: just found out that it wasn't mum who called up. it was my aunt and i kinda knew cause it was rather strange of mum to order us around. not good, cause my sis put the phone on speakers and i yelled out after she poked me multiple times to protest about going to alor. not good, i guess my aunt's a bit upset with me now and that is the last thing anyone would want to do. oh, lordy!::

pity

2007-05-31T22:52:00.000+08:00

it was nice to catch up with an old friend last night, who finally decided to come back from bumming around in new zealand and australia. she was glowing, for she had met a guy while backpacking few months ago and i'm sincerely happy for her.

we talked for a few hours but fell asleep at almost 2am. hence, the slight grumpyness experienced in the morning at work.

there were 2 phone calls that made me laugh this very morning. one, was from reuben who paused a while and asked the funniest question ever. then there's another friend who told me that he was actually told by someone that my mum owned the radio station i'm working at, which was hilariously absurd!

well, i wish.

work today was pretty slow, as usual. find it hard to motivate myself to work this week. perhaps it's because i know i will not be able to hang around and tell dom everything or it could just be that i'm exhausted. felt that i can't cope with all the workload somehow but yet i know i could do it.

i'm sad lately for the things that i see happening around me. just yesterday, i felt really bad as i saw this old man in the train who looked very sickly. i occasionally see him and he was weak as always, but this time he seemed like he needed help. he was perspiring and he hung his head real low, with his hands shaking. he had a pipe in front his throat, to enable him to breathe. there was this stench of urea and i suspect he'd wet himself.

all i could do was offer him my seat and asked if he's alright. he meekly nodded then stooped down on the seat. he looked like he was in pain and all of a sudden, i thought of grandpa and how my aunt described he was in pain the night before he died. my eyes start to water. i arrived at my stop and i felt so selfish to leave the sickly old man alone. but i had no choice, for i have my own priorities and he didn't want any help.

i wish he got home safe and sound, to his family yesterday. i admire his strength and will, as he's not only old but also ill and yet he is still very determined to work. we should all appreciate what we have in life and never take anyone or anything for granted.

monday blues and new red shoes

2007-05-28T21:03:00.000+08:00

am totally happy cause i bought myself a pair of absolutely fabulous red shoes! was half an hour early for an appointment at 1 utama so i decided to walk around the shops.

went into nose and saw this adorable range of shoes and the shiny red one caught my attention. i tried it on, just for the fun of it and had the sudden urge to own it cause it's simply cute! besides, i never had any red shoes and it's my very first one on that color and also lady-ish!

dom's thinking of getting the green one and if she does, we'll wear it to work together! we could even wear the same skirt that we have. heheh.

ooh, i sound like a bimbo.

my friend, dom

2007-05-22T20:55:00.000+08:00

i really love talking to dom.

we agree on most things and get along so well. i feel as if i could tell her anything and everything! perhaps she's a just a very good listener or she's just a really nice friend to have. for sure am going to miss her when she leaves. who am i going to talk to about things? and who am i going to bitch about others to?

sure, there's nisha and mary but it'll never be the same cause we're totally on the same wavelength and agree on just about everything (except for the fried sardine rice)! the fact that we've got the same taste in men is amazing, for i never knew anyone who does! our very first photocopy date, not too long ago, will be something that i will not forget.

i'm also glad to know how you (and nisha) agreed with me on the girlfriends' rule, which proved that i'm not really psychotic.

there's so much to say, so much to miss about you.

having said all those, i thank you for being a such great listener and a friend.

"i lau you"

rotting of boredom

2007-05-20T14:01:00.000+08:00

really don't know what to do. there's nothing good on tv and i'm done watching prison break season 2!

i've more pimples on my face today and sort of missing my long hair. i sometimes cant stand the sides, or rather 'handlebars' as mary calls it. apparently she feels the urge to grab a scissors and cut off both sides of my hair. you know what, so do i.

see mary, i can be a person who writes anything on their blog and be interesting at the same time... right?

damned cliffhangers

2007-05-20T12:45:00.000+08:00

just finished my prison break season 2 marathon. i now have no more reason to live. so there's season 3 but where is it? it'll be months till i get my hands on season 3 dvds.

sigh.

been pretty busy lately, running about trying to sort things out with sales, programming, my very own department and also the clients. it's so frustrating that i seem to have lost my appetite.

on another note, i've just found out that another colleague knows about my blog! and i think it's all big-mouth terry's fault! then mary made me tell her where my blog is. and boss forced me to spit out my blog address so he knows too. now, i've to be extra careful when i feel like bitching about my workmates here.

but then again, i don't really give a rats ass. =) it's just a blog and i'm merely expressing myself here. and my boss is smart enough to not be influenced by what people say anyway, cause he knows everything.

seriously.

i want a kyoji hamamura

2007-05-12T14:17:00.000+08:00

this saturday is just plain boring. nothing really good on tv but i'm watching this weird movie about this japanese mafia leaving for phuket on board a dingy ship. there's some funny parts in it that makes him so adorable, albeit his horrible long hair, tied up in a ponytail. just makes me want to have a japanese guy for myself!

*winks*

i guess the movie's supposed to be a horror film. oh gosh, he's so funny - especially with his accent. reminds me very much of daisaku! okay, daisaku's english is getting worse and harder to comprehend. he called me the other day, which was very sweet and we talked for almost an hour.

okay, i'm going to watch kyoji hamamura (that's the japanese guy's name in the movie) cause he's so silly he's cute! and wait for mum to come home and then off to the dentist. thinking of getting a haircut, so i might just do that right after.

too adorable!

2007-05-10T21:34:00.001+08:00

here's another version, which is hilarious! captain picard suddenly breaks out into the song with a stick, dancing around.

sorry, just have this really strong urge to share these with moosemousse and to spread the joy.

the 'ear worm'

2007-05-10T21:13:00.001+08:00

suddenly sang this song to mum in a weird high-pitched tone earlier simply to annoy her. and i can't stop singing it!

this is one of my all time favorite song and it makes me smile. =)

the tiring terengganu trip

2007-05-07T22:35:00.001+08:00

trip was exhausting. was barely at kenyir for a full day, minus the sleep time. drive there was horribly long, but it was funny how my colleague saw 2 german backpackers walking along the road on the way to rantau abang and decided to give them a ride.

arrived about 8pm, thanks to stupid anoo who insisted we take the longer way to kenyir because they needed a fuse box but never bothered to let us know they didn't need it till after we rounded a town, hunting for an electrical shop, thus resulting us in getting there later, more exhausted, and upset. well, at least i was upset because he never even apologized for not informing us. we're not donkeys nor his servants, so i got there with a pissy mood.

we only got back to our rooms about 9pm or so, thanks to anoo again who insisted we see the outside studio immediately. and of course, i didn't appreciate it but nobody cared.

got up at 5.30 in the morning to meet anoo at the lobby at 6.15am to only find out we could have stayed in bed and only have breakfast at 7am then only to go over to the game site. this is of course, thanks to anoo again.

then he said to meet at the carpark at 7.30am after our breakfast, but good thing i didn't get there on time. sure enough, he sms-ed at 7.40am to let me know he's on his way and to remind me of our rendezvous.

the event went pretty smoothly, and i did enjoy it despite the oversized t-shirt that i have to wear. when i say oversized, i mean XL oversized. we packed up and left after the flag off. said we'd meet in 30 minutes and being me, i hurried in packing and showering. called anoo up and they said they weren't ready.

see, it's not always the case of girls being slower than guys.

anyway, anoo said they'd be ready in 10 minutes and so the intern and i waited while watching tv to receive an sms from the most-unpunctual-person-in-the-world that they are ready. we quickly did a check around the room to see if we left anything behind and grabbed our bags to leave. went to their room and they were not ready.

so we went to feed the deers some of the bananas we had and the last person to come out was edmund. took them about 10-15 minutes! i was too busy occupying myself with taking photos of the deers so i didn't really cared.

moral of the story is: always be punctual. not being punctual just shows that you are irresponsible, not trustworthy and absolutely deserve to be dissed on my blog.

p.s. other than that, anoo really is a great guy. =)

with love

2007-05-05T22:52:00.000+08:00

it has been exactly 2 years since you left us.

coincidentally, i was in kuantan for an hour or so today, passing through from terengganu on the way back to kuala lumpur.

i saw you everywhere, on your motorbike passing our car, with a big grin on your face.

passed by the schools that i used to go to. i loved it when you pick me up after school, as you take me to lunch and you let me order whatever drink i want, even the expensive birds nest ones.

i still remember how i loved this shop near school that sells cute stuff and i had my eye on things that i couldn't afford. you'd always walk in with me and let me pick whatever i wanted.

hope you're doing fine, kong kong.

i will see you again, someday.

love,

juli

i

2007-05-01T00:39:00.001+08:00

am angry with the world today

hate it when things don't go my way, when people won't do as i wanted them to

feel so low and almost as if have lost hope on life, as every happy thoughts that i fiercely tried to instill in my selfish mind vanishes

want to run away and leave everything behind

need nothing but myself

raindrops

2007-04-26T20:21:00.000+08:00

... keep falling on my head.

i so feel like singing along to this song, thanks to a friend who came up with a random suggestion of collecting rain this afternoon in a chat.

2:50 PM Christina: hujans!

2:51 PM me: yas!

3:00 PM Christina: thunder

3:01 PM wanna collect rain water :P

me: whoa, sounds like a good plan!

3:02 PM =)

Christina: * walks around looking for baldi *

3:03 PM me: hahahaha

searches drawers for old water bottles

3:05 PM Christina: wheeee!

me: hahhahah

3:06 PM ahh, it feels like i'm young again

so carefree...

and innocent...

cue to song "raindrops keep falling on my head..."

3:08 PM Christina: you are YOUNG!

WE ARE YOUNG

me: hahahahaha

anyway, here are some more photos taken with my phone. this is where i work, in the white building, where i dread to go to every weekday.

and this, is the sun peeking from the side of a hotel, as if playing hide-and-seek. its almost as if she is aware of her own beauty as she scrutinizes her reflection on the water.

and it looks so beautiful here, as she waves goodbye, almost reluctantly.

i guess sometimes it's the simple things in life that make life itself special and so much worth living.

baboon-butt face

2007-04-26T11:40:00.001+08:00

it pisses me off to think how some people can easily get away with things. how unfair life is, that these people are already getting things their way because of their looks and knowing how superficial most people are, they give in to these useless people.

i mean, come on. i know i slack off at work, but this baboon-butt face person is supposedly my 'senior' and yet that baboon-butt face is chatting away on msn everyday more than the interns and the rest of the people in the office.

the worst part is that baboon-butt face's salary is much higher than mine and it does seem like i'm doing more work.

even the interns do more work than baboon-butt face.

coming in at about 9.30am is still tolerable, but coming in at 10am today is just unprofessional. sure, our department culture is laidback and the boss does not care if you come in late as long as you deliver your work, it's fine. but you, you baboon-butt face, do not really deliver and you're coming in late and leaving at 6pm sharp.

call me biased, or perhaps a shallow person who could just not let go of the past, but baboon-butt face has to go. the loud and disgusting burps, the toilet key hogging, the reading magazines at work, the constant chatting and breaking out in laughter leading to a choke, the loud tea sipping, the singing, the yelling to put the radio louder because that particular favorite song is being played, the noise from all the stupid forwarded videos played, the heavy scent of ointment lingering around the office due to a certain habit of nose dipping with ointment, the annoying call out to everyone to check out the magazine/email/whatever and etc - i'm sick and tired of all this.

baboon-butt face is by far, the worst person i've ever met in my entire life.

zombie

2007-04-21T15:01:00.000+08:00

so glad its the weekend.

the whole week has been a nightmare, i was a zombie at work. had suddenly lost the motivation to work. it could be the fact that erin has left the department or perhaps it was just that i didn't have enough of the weekend.

the traffic jam is getting worse lately. weird.

and i've suddenly the urge of taking photos with my mobile phone. will share it slowly with you here.

this is the temple i see every morning, on the way to work. they've renovated it and it looks pretty now. dad and i saw the transition process of when they were building it and painted it. now that i think of it, it's as if we've witnessed something special together - the rebirth of something sacred though we may not realize it.

pilon!

2007-04-19T22:24:00.000+08:00

i think i missed vik's birthday, though nico said it's today. and i guess it's his today but my yesterday.

sorry vik, but happy 24th birthday to you anyway!

i might never have experienced mauritian parties without you. and thank you for cooking me meals in perth!

certainly miss hanging out and doing crazy stuff with you, couyon!

see you soon (i hope), my brother!

i want another holiday

2007-04-18T20:44:00.000+08:00

i'm sitting in my room, trying to decide whether to book a cheap flight to travel end of this year. torn in between hanoi and macau, i also put into consideration the fact that sweeps might be in october and there's so many other factors that is stopping me from buying the flight ticket!

tension, tension, tension.

and air asia's booking period ends friday!

how?

my friend's convocation

2007-04-15T20:39:00.000+08:00

was at a ms' convocation at shangri-la earlier today. as you might already know, we did not get her flowers just like everyone else.

met up at ml's place tad earlier to help prepare and decorate the egg basket. doris was already there, desperately trying to coat the eggs in red coloring for it wouldn't stick onto the shell.

then ky came with the cake, of which i felt was totally unnecessary. and they made fun of my incompetency at calculation, those mean bitches.

the way to the hotel was unbelievable. it's extraordinary hot today and ml's air condition wasn't somehow working and all of us were soaking wet from our sweat, in the extremely warm car. it was so hot, i felt like passing out or something.

when we got there, there were already so many people around as they've already gotten out of the hall. and yes, it was still uncomfortably warm that i wished i was at my bloody freezing office.

first headed for the drinks table for a cold glass of water, which wasn't much of a help but it did manage to cool us down a bit. then we found ms, took a photo with her and then went for the food (the roti jala and their curry chicken was pretty good).

took so many photos but yet i felt it wasn't quite enough.

here's a photo we took in the car, with the air condition on full blast (as you can see) while we were stuck in a jam at the hotel's basement.

went for ice-cream at the baskin robbins in queen's park after that. unfortunately, it wasn't cold enough to help my body cool down.

ugh.

spot me!

2007-04-12T21:14:00.000+08:00

look!

i 'stole' this photo from my ex-classmate on friendster.

she posted up a few class photos and this is by far, my favorite-st! we're all so young and innocent, not forgetting extremely adorable!!!

the school was pretty strict and everyone was required to either have their hair short, above the collar or have their hair tied up in a bun. and naturally, i was a tomboy back then. thanks to the school, i've been having horrible haircuts for 6 years in a row!

but hey, can you find me?

my favorite bangkok photos

2007-04-12T18:42:00.000+08:00

suddenly felt like sharing some of my favorite bangkok photos with you privileged people who reads my blog, or happen to read my blog.

so here, is a classic shot of which millions of other tourists took (it's even on a postcard!) at the marble temple. the place was not as magnificent as what i thought it would be.

this is bangkok's chinatown. i stopped to snap a photo to only look back and see ky & jazz busy taking photos of each other.

and this, is a poor little cute dog ml & i saw on our way back from breakfast the day we left bangkok. it's got a prepaid reload card's plastic stuck on his face and we thought how pitiful he looked, despite looking so adorable with the fur tied up in a ponytail.

the plastic is somehow not quite visible in the photo, but i swear, it's there!

it's ugly!

2007-04-12T14:48:00.000+08:00

we're going to ms' convocation this sunday and decided to buy her presents. after emails of the discussion - the agreeing, disagreeing and what-nots, we've finally decided upon a bottle of wine and a basket of eggs (simply because she loves eggs).

bought the wine yesterday and some wrapping papers. they gave me the task of wrapping the wine and this is what i've done to it.

i know, it's ugly. it didn't quite turn out the way i expected it to be.

sigh, they might just kill me for this.

doing the jay leno

2007-04-08T15:22:00.000+08:00

absolutely lazy to start writing my report for next week's meeting. this is bad. and to satisfy my boredom, i decided to play around , taking silly photos of myself just for the fun of it.

this is me, looking like frankenstein's sister.

i call this the jay leno's strict headmistress mom.

and meet juli leno.

heh.

who's your least favorite singer?

2007-04-08T14:27:00.001+08:00

came across this question the other day:

name the one singer/artiste you can't stand?

at that very moment, i couldn't think of any. didn't take me long to remember which, though.

it's shakira.

totally diss the new song of beyonce and her. such horrid video, i thought to myself when i saw it couple days ago with a disgusted face although it was captivating, in a way as they both look alike and it just makes you want to know which one's beyonce & shakira. annoyed the hell out of me. ugh.

then there's the whole list of other artistes whom i can't stand listening to their music to: shania twain, christina aguilera, jojo, josh groban, hillary duff, crazy frog, chris daughtry, lindsay lohan, and the list goes on.

my pursuit of happyness

2007-04-07T22:55:00.000+08:00

just finished watching the pursuit of happyness. made me think of my future and i guess of all movies, this one made me worry so much it hit me hard - that life is really hard.

watching chris gardner's struggles to having a decent life, to give food and shelter to his young son, was pretty hard. it's especially harder to know that the character was not made-up and that really happened. and to also know that there are many other people who are also struggling to live out there is worse.

then i start to worry about myself. i'm terrified to think that i would soon be on my own, without my parents who were always giving me almost everything i needed and wanted.

the fact that am not 100% serious at my job is not good, i know. being 24 and sometimes i do feel as if i'm a failure at my age for not achieving as much as other people.

but i'm content with my life, in some ways, sometimes.

a weekend in kuantan

2007-04-06T23:48:00.000+08:00

now let me share with you some photos i've taken during the weekend trip to kuantan for qing ming.

*listening to nidji in the background, on channel v. they're surprisingly good!*

was fun to relax and hang out with kids at times. i love children! they bring out the kid in you and all the worries in the world seem to disappear when you muck-around with them. and here's a complete nutcase, thinking she's one of them (children).

we went to teluk cempedak, which was somewhat crowded as it was a public holiday that saturday.

didn't take photos of the beach, for i was too lazy and didn't feel like it. besides, it was so hot my butt was perspiring.

there was this stall, where 2 men were making and selling personalized souvenirs. they cut names, even in chinese, out of plastic and it actually looked pretty cool.

after that, we went for ice-kacang & cendol somewhere else of which i don't know what the area is called. the tables was made of stainless steel and so were the bowls and spoons, which was way cool!

ok, so no photos of the actual ice-kacangs and cendols. we were too busy trying to cool ourselves down the high-caloried, sweet icy goodness of colorful shaved ice.

feeling oh-so-exhausted. will just go to bed now. my report & presentation for next week's offsite meeting awaits me in the morning.

boo hoo.

sorry i emo-ed

2007-04-04T19:15:00.000+08:00

apologies for emo-ing couple days ago. i'm much better now, just exhausted and in pain as i woke up this morning with a cramp in my left thigh. not too sure if it's a cramp?

anyway, working till very late tomorrow. there's this event at cafe flams, sunway tomorrow at 11pm. if anyone in kl happen to read this, why don't you drop by tomorrow? but be there about 9.30 to get a stamp from the red ryders for a free entry. it's basically a small affair, where jd & nisha's going to be dressed up as a woman & a bikini respectively for the contest of battle of mars & venus, which is on their show. too lazy to explain. if you want to know more, just go.

fussing over on my post-mortem report for sweep publicity. have no idea how to do it, so i googled up on how to write one as i'll be presenting it next friday at an off-site meeting.

sigh.

there goes my weekend.

all souls day

2007-04-02T23:24:00.001+08:00

went back to my hometown over the weekend for the qingming festival to pray and give offerings of gold, money, clothes, etc in paper to our ancestors.

we never made it a point to be back for qingming until grandpa passed away couple years ago. everytime i visit my grandpa's grave, i'd get all teared up even though it's already been a 2 years since he left us.

have you ever had the feeling of regret and sadness every time you leave your grandparents?

leaving in a car, you see grandma and grandpa standing out front, waving goodbye as you drive away. you don't know when you'd see them again or if you'd ever see them again.

i did. and unfortunately i never got to see my grandpa after waving goodbye to him in 2005. he was already sick then, but gotten a bit better over 2004's christmas. i had to go back to australia to complete my studies, and i thought he'd at least still be here when i come home in july.

but he didn't wait for me to come home. he left us in may 2005.

i didn't get to say goodbye. didn't get to hug him or tell him how much i love him. one of the man i love most in my life is gone.

i still remember your smile, short of a few tooth. you had a very cheeky smile and always bought me breakfast whenever i'm back in kuantan. when you got sick, i remember walking to have dim sum for breakfast with you when you stayed over our house once. you were already weak and had trouble walking. being a lazy person, i'm ever reluctant to walk out to get food.

i'm glad you insisted on going out to have dim sum that day. our meal was simple, and we had a quiet breakfast together. you didn't eat much, you couldn't. i know you were already in pain, and it did hurt me to know you're terribly sick. though ordinary, it was one of the best meal i've ever had in my life.

even a donkey would be smarter than you

2007-03-29T21:03:00.000+08:00

i find it amazing how people are so shallow. these people are those who do not get a simple joke of a 6 year old or sarcasm of which a donkey would die laughing his ass (pun intended) off.

sigh.

and this morning a dumbass winner attempted to spoil my day by giving me attitude over then phone. he called up to ask me regarding his uncollected prizes but he wouldn't want to bloody listen to my explanation when i wanted to tell him our procedures. he's anoo's church friend and i swear, he'll go straight to hell for this. what sort of a dumbfuck are you, trying to call up and not wanting to hear an explanation? i hope you'll settle just fine, burning in hell.

enough of the mofo. by the way, his name's peter. still remember his last name. peter m, if you're ever reading this, you're going to hell.

on a happier note, i had a pretty productive day today. people at the star seemed to be friendlier nowadays, especially since i've been calling them everyday for weeks already. makes taking to them about releasing my write-ups every other day of the week so much easier!

guess my friends and i are slowly getting over the depression of being home after a short but fabulous trip to thailand. i'm so desperate to go, i've been asking around if anyone's going anytime soon. then dad tried to give a lecture on how the country's still very unstable and that the newspaper just reported about the country's possibility of going on a... i forgot the word.

good thing i was smart enough to divert the conversation topic to his seminar he had the past two days! ok, i'm tired. saw shooter last night and it was a pretty good movie. wouldn't mind watching it again. loved mark wahlberg in that movie!

i miss bangkok

2007-03-27T20:30:00.000+08:00

am still kinda sad to be home. i loved bangkok and 2 days are just not enough! i should have brought more money and spent more! 2 dresses, 3 pants, 2 skirts, 7 tops, 1 pair sandals, 2 bags, and other miscellaneous things seem so little. it's not enough to quench this shopping thirst of mine.

sigh.

i don't feel like going out anymore as places here now bore me.

went to the pasar malam near my office earlier and it brought back memories of chatuchak.

double sigh.

i must now find a way to move to bangkok!

the big bang

2007-03-26T22:09:00.000+08:00

the weekend shopping trip to bangkok was fabulous! bought loads of stuff and spent about rm1,200 for the whole trip.

we were getting up so early for 3 days in a row and walked till our legs were sore. the people were friendly and i guess i did catch some of the locals' attention - thanks to my siamese genes.

this is jack, our tuk-tuk driver who's always looking at his mirror to check me out. didn't realize it at first till my friends mention it. then they kept making fun of me.

first day was spent on visiting temples and the stupid thai & chinese centres where they try to sell you expensive jewelry and the tuk-tuk drivers get free fuel.

our last stop was at the emerald palace but we didn't go in cause it was 250 baht and we decided that we'd rather save that money for shopping. so we had a light lunch outside, by the sidewalk in front of this huge field.

the food was cheap and delicious! the thai salad was spicy but the peanuts helped neutralize the spiciness a little. took a boat and the mrt to siam paragon. the boat ride was extremely fun! the boat ride was 13 baht each and there was a boat conductor, like the ones we used to see in the metro busses!

at siam paragon, we bought thai noodles cause they're yummy. the area looked so modern and clean, it made kl look like a 3rd world country.

after that, we headed to chinatown for an expensive dinner where a rude lady took our order. when a young boy in his teens served our puny grilled prawns, she was barking at him in thai for no apparent reason. poor boy, have to work with this sour old hag.

then all 6 of us took a tuk-tuk to suan lum night market. note: we took a tuk-tuk. we thought that a cab would be expensive and the place seemed far. so we tried to save money by cramming into a tuk-tuk, along with our shopping. it was hilarious! pity we couldn't take a photo, cause all of us could barely move! true enough, suan lum was pretty far from chinatown and there was a traffic jam!

so it wasn't very funny after the first 10 minutes.

suan lum was nice. though already cheap, they're still expensive compared to chatuchak. we know, cause we bought sundresses for at least 200baht there and at chatuchak, you'd get one for 80baht!

we went shopping crazy at chatuchak the next day! split up in pairs and my partner and i had great shopping chemistry!

met up with the rest for lunch and was kind of funny how we don't know what to order... because everything was in thai. so we had chicken rice and another dish called yen the for, which we learnt from nuy, the nice girl at an internet cafe in suan lum where she let us put our shopping there while we shopped!

chatuchak was truly a shopping haven and the bargaining makes it a more wonderful experience. we bought a lot and carried it with us to patpong in the mrt, where we caught a lot of the locals' attention with our bags and laughter. the cute cherry bag's mine!

we left the next day and least ml & i got to have thai noodles for breakfast!

so this is the end of my photo story. there's so many photos i'd love to share, but i'm just too lazy to describe every detail of my trip. i did come home slightly depressed and mighty exhausted.

i miss bangkok already.

the old lady

2007-03-22T22:13:00.000+09:00

had lunch alone and there was this old lady sitting in front of me. she was having her lunch alone, too.

i smiled in relief, knowing i'm not the only one in the restaurant having lunch alone. she looks like she would have been a teacher, or a headmaster. she had this quiet confidence and i thought to myself that if i should grow old and have no one, i would be like her.

by the rate i'm making enemies, i guess i would be having lunch alone everyday till i'm old!

my lunch hour alone was really nice. a blind man and his wife were selling packets of sweets and tidbits and i smiled at the wife, as she was passing by my table. perhaps she thought a young person like me doesn't give a damn about old people. then she stopped and asked if i wanted to buy any.

i picked up a packet of sweets, remembering what mary had told me about her only giving people money when they work for it when i asked her if she wanted to join the skip a meal campaign, where you would choose to skip a meal and donate your breakfast/lunch/dinner money. had a lecture from mary of how she would not pity those blind men/women who comes up to you with a bookmark and expect a donation from you. she would give them money for the things that they worked for, like some old lady selling keropoks and such.

smiling at the old couple, i thought that at least they took the effort to buy tidbits and sweets and then pack them individually.

my lunch was served and i ate quietly, lost in my stream of depressing thoughts. however pitiful i may sound, i enjoyed my alone time. it's been a while since i've had lunch alone at the office. not that i had a choice, as the interns were going to eat with the 988 interns and there was absolutely no way for me to ask her to come with me.

so i went alone.

but i wasn't alone.

dude, take a chill pill!

2007-03-22T14:05:00.001+09:00

it's so amazing how i could say things that are so innocent with no intentions of picking an any sort of fight/arguement but anyhow would get me into trouble.

is it just me or is there someone up there, sitting on a throne enjoying every last bit of this sick joke which happens to be my life.

if not, then what the fuck is wrong with you people? do you get some sense of gratification by fucking me up?

ugh, so stressed out with work already and a simple and honest opinion got a certain dude worked up. my emails were calm but he kept attacking me and one of my emails sounded a tad harsh. but i did apologize after that and was totally open to criticism.

just a bit upset that such a stupid thing blew up into huge ass proportions, which would probably scatter all around the office.

as much as i would like to throw my dysfunctional office computer at you and stick a 'mofo' sign on your back, i shall remain calm and collected at all times as i treat(ed) you as a friend and not just a colleague.

oh, is there a doctor in the house? please prescribe the dude with a chill pill. no, give him a carton full of chill pills. he needs it.

toothpaste on my spacebar

2007-03-21T00:12:00.000+09:00

getting so bored of working. i think to myself every single day, the reason why people have to work day in and out, 5 days a week and some even more! to only see more numbers in their bank accounts. sure, it's fun to poke at the atm and make it give you rectangular papers but its funny how people strive for these mere objects.

ok, i have no idea of what i'm rambling about.

this is pointless.

looking forward to my trip this friday, yayness! this is where my girly side comes out and i'm all geared up to shop like a madwoman (not that i'm not already one).

oh by the way, these were photos taken...

*omg, i've got toothpaste on my computer!!!*

please excuse me while i freak out a bit, in desperate attempt to wipe the toothpaste off my spacebar and to avoid it from getting further... and beyond?

so anyway, the photos were taken a month or so ago with my closest friends minus one who's in new york. only 5 of us will be travelling on a plane the very first time ever this weekend and i can't wait for our first trip abroad! yes, we've never traveled out of malaysia together before.

and yes, i know. we look stupid. ok, maybe just me but i don't care. it's fun to be silly. and look, a decent photo to end this pointless entry.

booya!

a foo for a friend

2007-03-17T14:15:00.000+09:00

my good friend, foo called me up last night and as usual, she sounds like she's high on something although that may not always be the case. =)

she was saying how she's lonely and would eventually die alone, which reminds me of our very first chat on icq many years ago. we found out that we were both prone to depression and often thought of suicide.

that's why we're so good friends. =)

and apparently she's my 'cousin' now! heh.

now that she's in london, we do meet up whenever she comes back to malaysia and i remember the trip i made to perlis to see her one summer break.

i'm sure you still remember gua kelam, where i started freaking out and ran out of the cave to the other side and leaving you behind. then you started running and we both laughed like hyenas and brisk walked the way back out!

the fat lady ghost & my friend in a red bikini

2007-03-17T00:51:00.001+09:00

dad was just sharing with me his dream he had early yesterday morning. he dreamt he was with one of his old pals, eric who was trying to reach across a low wall. there was a fat lady ghost at the other side of the wall and his friend was apparently trying to push her away. dad was holding onto his friend's legs, like a wheelbarrow. and then he woke up. he went on telling me that he climbed over a low wall the day before during one of his property evaluations to look at the land behind the wall. whereas i, on the other hand dreamt that i was rushing off to the airport to check in for my flight to bangkok. i had forgotten all about it and immediately rushed to the airport and checked in at a counter to be shoved by a bunch of rude thai people. i remember almost freaking out to think that i was travelling alone, seeing the unfriendly and rude thai people at the airport (have nothing against thai people, my grandma's half siamese) so i was frantically trying to eavesdrop their conversations to pick up their language and accent. then i realized that i was supposed to travel with my friends and called up a friend. she was still home and told me not to worry and that she would make it in time although it's only 50 minutes to departure! as i hung up, another friend showed up in a red bikini top and spoke to me in the bimbo-est manner ever! not to mention the fact that she did seem like she just had a boob job. yes, i was actually researching on my bangkok trip the night before. see, there's an explanation for all dreams.

otanjou-bi omedetou gozaimasu!

2007-03-10T17:48:00.000+09:00

happy birthday daisaku!

wishing you all the happiness in the world and glad to have you as a friend. look, our very first photo, taken 3 years ago!

today's your special day and hope you're enjoying it already! we'll be seeing each other soon (hopefully!)

love,

juli & nico

genting with the red people

2007-03-09T00:12:00.000+09:00

just felt like putting up photos from the genting trip.

alvin kept pointing at the 'prosperity god' in every photo.

i can't believe i watched football! anyway, ian rush and the soccergurus went on stage during halftime and talked cock.

the boys were bummed that liverpool lost.

these were taken before i passed out.

the yee sang lunch, next day at genting international convention centre.

was funny how alvin & edmund was overwhelmed by the fact that there's 3 vegetarians at our table (cause then they get to eat all the chicken)!

we hung around and went on the 4d & the spiderman thingy, which was quite disappointing.

so overall, trip was fun.

so glad dom was there - to goof around with me and to hold me when i faint. =)

i want a wheelchair!

2007-03-04T23:18:00.001+09:00

was a pretty tiring week for me and i just came back from genting for
work. been sleeping late because of the chinese series i borrowed from
my uncle.

skipped lunch twice in a week and had a late dinner on friday as i had
to stay back at the office to photograph ian rush on the toyota
football fever show and to supervise the interns with taking the
phonecalls.

well, what i really wanted to say is that i passed out at genting yesterday.

yes, i fainted! at the casino. and it was kinda freaky. thank goodness
dom was there.

the security were really efficient, as i saw a uniformed guard (with
my real blurry eyesight) coming to my aid and rubbed some ointment on
my forehead and back of my neck.

then i saw at the corner of my eye, a wheelchair! but i think they
took it away as soon as i said "i'm ok, i'm ok".

bummer. i was *this* close to get to sit on a wheelchair!

after regaining consciousness, i begged the guys to get me a
wheelchair as my knees were still weak-ish and i was too lazy to walk
all the way back to first world hotel from the genting hotel.

bastards would only let me have the wheelchair as far as the clinic
right outside the casino.

anyway, i should really rest already. feel a little jittery already.

am taking an mc tomorrow to do a medical check-up, of which i'm
thinking twice as i hate needles!

back to life, back to reality

2007-02-25T23:26:00.000+09:00

so i'm back in kl. and back to work tomorrow.

*sulk*

didn't feel like continuing the cny post, so i'm taking a raincheck on that. bought some old-school 'blowing balloon' yesterday and i blew up some 'balloons' earlier out of boredom and stuck them together.

grandpa used to buy me the 'blowing baloons' (as stated on the little tubes) when i was a kid. ahh, brings back the good old memories.

tee hee.

the chinese thing

2007-02-23T20:40:00.000+09:00

every chinese new year, our family would travel to kuantan to celebrate it with my uncles and cousins. well, it's been tradition for our family to celebrate it in kuantan ever since... i knew of such a celebration existed.

year by year, as it seems, this tradition that celebrates family and togetherness is slowly disappearing, just like the younger cousins as they are no where to be seen after collecting all their angpows from their family on the first morning of chinese new year.

thinking aloud and typing out the word chinese repeatedly is starting to sound funny, just like how you'd say ass a million times and then it'll start to sound strange to you no matter how familiar you are with that word.

anyway, i'm actually blogging at starbucks because my domineering aunt changed the channel i was watching on telly to some korean drama, complaining that the cantonese series i was watching's annoying. slightly upset, i walked away and got my dad to come here with me as i think korean drama's way annoying and stupid cause they're all about young people falling in love - usually the guy would be super rich and the girl some cutesy and sometimes, clumsy schoolgirl.

back to the topic.

being a chinese myself, i'm actually proud of my heritage and colorful culture despite our kiasu attitude and the flibbertigibbets in us (cool word, flibbertigibbet, huh? just looked it up in thesaurus, har-har!). dad was telling me the other day how his dad (my other grandpa whom i've never met) was took in by a shaolin master when he was a shepherd at the mountains of guangzhao. i thought how it sounded like something picked out from the older hong kong kung-fu movies so i remained sceptical till today.

oh, i'm sorry. was i out of topic? well, technically i haven't cause the people i was talking about are chinese and shaolin + guangzhao is definitely chinese too. and i bet all those are somehow or another related to chinese new year. =)

we didn't have lions dancing at our place this year cause they seem to be lesser lion-dancer trucks on the streets. i was lucky enough to catch the last bit of one performance at queens park last two weekends ago.

ok, getting bored of blogging already.

**to be continued**

i wish i could fly

2007-02-22T22:00:00.000+09:00

though its great being on holidays, i am getting sick of the nagging and complaints from my family.

anyhow, i didn't let that affect me from continuing to be a bum for i slept till after noon today. heh. well, it's been a while since i did that anyway.

went to hyatt at telok cempedak this afternoon and my camera's battery ran out, which was fine as i brought my trusty laptop with me. =)

don't ask me why, but i just brought it along just in case we would actually sit there for a bit and i could get some work done or at least play reversi.

new years, berlin style

2007-02-19T12:29:00.001+09:00

and there i was, with nico and his friends for new years in berlin. gunther and sandy drove us and we headed to robert's place for a 'photo presentation' of his and yvonne's holidays in new zealand. it was pretty funny as robert was talking in english and gunther kept asking torsten what he just said. then robert got annoyed when the guys started talking and laughing during his presentation. we went over to anja's before heading to the party somewhere where i don't know the name but it's a little further up friedrichshein. a few more friends came over and we went to the top of universal building at warschauer strasse to watch the fireworks.

was pretty windy on top but it wasn't freezing cold, which was great!

there were fireworks all around and it was really beautiful.

the ritual new year's brunch was at the same cafe and this year, daniel even managed to get up to join us.

so new year's celebration this year wasn't too bad either. heh.

my second christmas in germany

2007-02-18T22:20:00.000+09:00

so here are my christmas photos.

my christmas holidays last year was short but sweet. spent most of my time in weisdin, neustrelitz and although i had absolutely nothing to do, it was very nice to be away from work for 2 weeks.

it wasn't as cold as last winter but nevertheless, cold by malaysian standards. and this time round, i didn't really bothered to go sight-see as i've already been to germany. besides, it's supposed to be holidays!

so i hung around, watched lots of german tv and enjoyed myself watching hulk hogan's reality series in english!

snowed a bit and i had to admit, that i was freaking out a little. didn't want it to be snowing in berlin during new years - that would be utterly horrible to go from one party to another when its snowing.

oh, here's a random photo of nico's sock that looks like an unhappy face.

looking forward to this year's christmas already. =)

gong hei fatt choy

2007-02-18T12:24:00.000+09:00

hello, and happy chinese new year.

this year's celebration feels different cause it's simply here too soon. perhaps celebrating it on a sunday adds up to it as well.

we're all (almost) dressed up in red and i've already played (and lost money) mahjong with my aunt who has super skills in mahjong.

everyone's talking at the same time and i love the chinese new year tunes blasted loud on the telly while the brats jump up and down, dropping crumbs of every cookie they hold on their tiny hands.

ok, don't know what else to say. maybe i should play reversi or something and relatives are starting to come visit us.

always in my heart

2007-02-18T02:17:00.001+09:00

i visited you today. it's been a year since the last time i saw you.
i'm sorry for not visiting as many times as i promised i would but
you're always in my heart. and i know you're always with me.

i cried again, at your grave. thinking of you always make me cry. i
miss you so much, although you've left us for 2 years already.

chinese new year is here again. the second year celebrating without
you. i remember how you always wake up in the mornings to see me
staying up late to watch tv. you would tell me to sleep, for its late.

it's 1.15am now, and i know you would wake up about this time and tell
me to go to bed.

we all miss you, kong.

danke, mein schatz

2007-02-17T00:51:00.000+09:00

as expected (heheh), i received another bunch or rather vase, of flowers on wednesday at the office. and i wasn't there when it was delivered (again).

they were real pretty, almost as pretty as the ones you got me after we had a huge fight in australia. still remember having to walk to the student housing office 2 years ago in the rain, half asleep with my pajamas on and having to carry the big bunch of flowers that came along with pralines and a huge heart shaped baloon.

how embarassing. good thing no one saw me that time.

but thank you for the flowers. they're the loveliest roses i've ever seen! and i now i have a new vase too! =)

swimming pool

2007-02-16T01:42:00.000+09:00

lately, i've been having dreams about moving into a new home with my family. and our new 'home' was not just a regular single/double storeyed home but a huge-ass mansion.

called out to my sister, telling her we've got a swimming pool and she came running towards me. she didn't stop and jumped immediately into the pool.

i quickly jumped in and as we swim past the fountains, i realized that we were actually living in a resort. by the way, i decided that we owned the resort. =)

then we continued swimming and the water started looking a little greenish and murky towards the end, as there were quite a few people there.

i was grossed out and a little fish was as if chasing me so i swam as fast as i could to get back to the other side, the cleaner water, home.

then i woke up feeling totally exhausted and although it was just a dream, work was a total drag today!

danke, mein schatz

2007-02-16T00:48:00.000+09:00

as expected (heheh), i received another bunch or rather vase, of
flowers yesterday at the office.

and i wasn't there when it was delivered again.

they were real pretty, almost as pretty as the ones you got me after
we had a huge fight in australia. still remember having to walk to the
student housing office 2 years ago in the rain, half asleep with my
pajamas on and having to carry the big bunch of flowers that came
along with pralines and a huge heart shaped baloon.

how embarassing. good thing no one saw me that time.

but thank you for the flowers. they're the loveliest roses i've ever
seen! and i now i have a new vase too! =)

du bist am besten!

had it

2007-02-14T14:24:00.000+09:00

perhaps i'm pms-ing or it could be the fact that it's the dreaded overrated & over-commercialized day of the year but i'm just fed up with the whole situation today.

feel as if i'm not really growing in this career from being tied-up to handling shitty winners and every other admin stuff here.

i mean, come on, every other friend of mine who graduated locally and only started working recently are getting paid more than i am. it is pretty messed up, considering the fact that my dad paid so much for my overseas bachelor's degree only for me to earn nuts and be an office girl and have tasks of which a 10 year old could very well be capable of doing.

sure, on top of that there's my proposals and publicity shit. so what? handling winners may be an easy task but it takes so much time answering phone calls and enquiries and other shit that i have to do around here.

i do like my job and the people i work with (people who's not in my department) but i just feel that i'm still restricted to doing bigger things as my superior passes on projects to other executives.

how else could i learn then? and even if i take on those projects, i'd be pretty much drowning in my workload already.

sigh.

life is so unfair.

guess i should really consider leaving for better opportunities.

omigosh!

2007-02-12T16:29:00.000+09:00

i went upstairs and then back to the office to only find a bouquet of flowers for me on my table!

only thing is... i don't know who gave it to me!

and i don't even know a 'guess who?'

now how would i take it home? i take the train home everyday!

oh gosh, i could already 'feel' the stares at me in the train, with a flowers and it's not even valentine's!

die.

my ugly side is still not as ugly as your face

2007-02-05T11:40:00.000+09:00

seeing you this early on a monday morning is simply great.

and the fact that you already irritated the hell out of me makes me want to shove your head in between the locker doors and whack that empty head of yours so you could realize what a stupid bitch you are.

then i would be more than happy to drag you to the ladies and flush away your ugly heavily made-up baboon-butt face.

there.

now i feel much better.

=)

reversi craze

2007-02-05T00:30:00.000+09:00

totally addicted to playing big bang reversi now.

i'm always the black and the computer white. so black is moon and white is actually gold or yellow, which is sun.

sun is an annoying twat that is always taunting you and calling you names, even after you win the game! and all his sneering just makes you want to teach him a lesson so you keep on playing.

you win game after game, but yet that dimwit keeps calling you names, and you keep on playing but not having the feeling of satisfaction!

hmm... i guess, i've gone out of my mind.

the nerve!

2007-02-04T22:26:00.000+09:00

went to jusco with mum & dad. bought double refill shokobutsu shower cream packs and was pretty anxious to redeem my free 'kawaii dolls dispenser'.

despite the brainless lady who said "excuse me" and then only to cut right in front of me, i could still tolerate her rudeness. so the the customer service girl attended to that bitch. another girl attended me right away but she didn't respond to my "do you have a white one?" request for a white 'kawaii doll dispenser' after giving me a blue one.

ugh, not too happy with the blue one. would have loved to have the white one instead. that's not customer service then. that's i don't-give-a-rat's-ass-about-customers' service.

sheesh.

sleepless

2007-02-02T17:08:00.000+09:00

weird dream i had. i finally said something that i had kept inside for years to a certain friend whom i'm terribly displeased with. i told her how fucked up she is and the whole situation too. told her off and i was shocked to hear myself saying all those to her. and then i told her partner that he's fucked up too.

was somewhat relieved that i finally got it off my chest but then i panicked a bit as somehow i felt that i have no right to say those things (although they are really fucked up).

then i woke up and realized that it was a dream.

i say so

2007-01-30T00:03:00.000+09:00

so i splurged again.

so i bought myself yet another something.

so i got a new red dress.

so i'm totally broke.

but hey, at least i'm happy?

*whistles*

it's her party and she'll drink if she wants to

2007-01-28T18:12:00.000+09:00

nisha invited me to her birthday party at her house and despite me not liking to go out, let alone to parties, i obliged cause it's her birthday.

she'd invited no more than 40 people, i think, and i hung out most of the time with my colleagues. it's been a while since i went out to parties like this where i would meet friends of my friend, or rather, new people.

dom was mighty annoyed with this chick at the party, which was hilarious! too bad she left early and i didn't get to talk to her about plastic surgery or something. hahah.

it was sure funny seeing terry getting high by the hour.

and he was trying to get nisha drunk!

(und jetzt, du weiss).

saturday

2007-01-28T14:31:00.000+09:00

yesterday was not how i would usually spend my saturday, but i did enjoy it. my friends and i got up pretty early only to go all the way to pj for a warehouse sale. we were aunties for that few hours while we were there.

i drove and i'm amazed at how i'm so good at looking for places. was just roughly guessing where the warehouse would be at and i got us there! maybe i picked up those skills from dad, as he knows a lot of places and he has to anyway, for work.

we squeezed in with hundreds of people buying shitloads of near-expiry food and was even lining up for diapers! okay, so my friend was buying them for her sister.

i find it amazing how warehouse sales bring out the kiasu-ness in you.

after that, we went to bangsar for lunch and i decided to get my upper lip waxed cause i was starting to look like a man with my mustache.

hahahhahahhahahah.

*roll eyes*

crikey

2007-01-25T21:44:00.000+09:00

had to see the big boss for a simple signature today. was already panicking that i'd have to face him, as big boss is a very tall and pretty big guy. i somehow find him a little intimidating, but i guess not to the point of a colleague who wore an pad although she wasn't having her period before seeing him.

the wait to see him was horribly long. he's just talking so much and i guess i waited for almost an hour just to get that miserable signature of his to approve something.

when i got in, surely enough he was already asking me a lot of questions about the document that he was about to scribble his million-dollar signature on. good thing he called up my boss and my boss was answering all the questions. makes me adore my boss even more.

yes, my boss is pretty cool. and i'm so happy big boss decided to call him for clarifications. thank goodness for that.

i've actually been pretty busy running about trying to settle the winners shit and all. and i have other work to do, but the winners stuff are urgent - especially when we're giving out 3 different concert/show tickets for this weekend.

extremely... exhausted...

alienated

2007-01-25T00:15:00.000+09:00

ok, looking at this picture is somehow making me feel a little queasy. looks as if it's a plastic surgery gone wrong or something.

hahahahahahahahahahh.

hey, i kinda look like jackie chan... don't i?

like, hello?

2007-01-25T00:03:00.000+09:00

i find it so amazing how some people can be so shallow and self-centered. there are actually people in this world who expects every fucking person's world revolves around them but not realizing it themselves, which i find totally amuzing.

best part is that they accuse you of doing so.

bloody hypocritical morons.

best buys at queen's park

2007-01-21T16:57:00.000+09:00

i really like taman maluri, the suburb in kuala lumpur where i live in. it's only about 15 minutes drive to klcc from my home and more or less than 20 minutes to bukit bintang due to the infamous traffic there.

but we have pretty much everything we need on a daily basis here, in maluri. we've got jusco, carrefour and queen's park. tesco is pretty much at the other side of maluri - more to ampang but its still near.

today, i am reminded again of why i like going to queen's park despite the lack of shops there. it has a very laid-back and relaxing vibe to it. as you stroll along the corridors of the stores on a beautiful sunday afternoon, you can't help but feel so much at ease.

and at queen's park, you get bargained stuff at the outlet stores. i got an esprit belt and a pair of a&f pajamas for rm10 each there. so cheap!

call me a cheapo, but i'm trying to do my part to decrease inflation. so there.

of lesbian dreams

2007-01-14T00:55:00.000+09:00

so glad the weekend's finally here. it seemed like the week would never end, with so much pressure from work upon returning from my leave and not forgetting that i have not been feeling well since last week.

it did feel weird, in fact surreal, to be home. it did not welcome me the way i expected it to be.

worst part is the proposals and impossible plans that i'd to complete by thursday. surely enough, they were rejected and most of it was wrong anyway. felt like leaving so badly and i'd be just so happy to sit around and watch tv at home.

then there's the weird part. perhaps it was all too much stress that i had a lesbian dream last night. nothing sexual, i assure you. i was dating a younger girl and she was being all petty and i had to accompany her shopping. yes, i was the guy in the relationship. guess i'd make a great girl-boyfriend as i was really caring a lot for her. she was thirsty, i bought her water. she wanted to go shopping all day and then to another place, i went with her. her ex-boyfriend even drove to the mall and picked us up to head to a party. it was kind of awkward as they seem like they were still very close and as if still in a relationship. then i find myself flirting with her ex-boyfriend.

hahahahah.

ok, weird stuff. told my boss at work today that i am absolutely stressed that i even had a lesbian dream... and it was all because of him. and yes, i told him that too.

and then he went telling everyone (at least the 988's a&p team) that i blamed him for my lesbian dream.

uhm, thanks boss?

penang poo

2006-12-18T23:01:00.000+09:00

the weekend-penang trip was pretty alright, despite the boring wedding dinner. guess the only exciting part of the wedding dinner was when we saw a monkey at the back of the open-air dining area, just watching all the commotion that's going on.

think my parents just lost it at penang. they ordered everything and squeezed in time to eat every other hour or so. good thing the chilli pan mee i had on friday with my colleague made my stomach a little upset and i kind of lost my appetite. *must diet*

my uncle and grandma went along too. it was really funny how my uncle bargained for items at the kek lok si stalls.

penang people were selling very fragile crap. i didn't touch it and my sister is a wimp for not touching it even after i dared her and called her names.

and we went round in circles looking for this place that sells biscuits of which my aunt recommended.

taking the ferry back was fun! brought back so many memories. dad was surprised to see how my face lit up when we boarded the ferry and got out of the car to take photos.

met an old friend there, miss piggy. and boy, how stoned she was! tsk, tsk, tsk.

overall, the trip was ok-lah.

omg!

2006-12-17T23:14:00.000+09:00

sigh, just checked the weather forecast for germany. and whaddaya know, it's freezing there with the highest temperature of only 4 degree celsius and it as low as -3 degree celsius (according to cnn.com). bbc's telling me that it only gets as low as 0 degrees and the highest at 7 degree celsius. so who should i trust? the americans or the english?

anyhow,

omgomgomgomgomgomg!!!

my friend turned 23

2006-12-17T21:06:00.000+09:00

funny how simple things in life mean so much to someone. doris' birthday was a simple affair of a dinner steamboat at my favorite place in maluri. the very humble birthday celebration was served with loads of laughter with the sides of great company.

doris loved the day and was deeply touched for she had only wished for nothing more than having to celebrate her birthday with a cake with us. that was real sweet.

it's no fantabulous party with lots of alcohol and other people you don't know, but i think that it is one of the best birthday 'party' i've ever been to.

got saliva?

2006-12-15T10:56:00.000+09:00

jen came in this morning and settled herself down at her desk. i glanced at her and she started cleaning her mobile phone with some bright pink tissues she stole off the mamak stalls when i saw her licked her finger and then dabbed it onto the screen of the mobile phone.

why yes, my expression drastically changed to 'ew-that's-gross' look. she, being her blur-self does not realize what she had done. i mean, who uses saliva to clean their mobile phones? obviously jen does.

on another note, i suddenly decided to check my stat counter just for kicks. are those things accurate or what? apparently i have visitors from us, france and singapore. so show me who your are, stalkers!

*roll eyes*

ok, i smell food in the office. it's really distracting me now. and oh, people have said that i'd lost weight! yayness~ got to get back to work, 3 more working days left! but till then, so much to do and even no time to pack!

and jen's freaking out, looking at photos of a dude got bitten by a shark. just one of her daily routines, to look at all her forwarded emails and get everyone to look at it too.

killing me almost instantly

2006-12-07T10:57:00.000+09:00

so lately has been pretty exhausting for me somehow. the stress from work has been keeping me awake in the nights, worrying about not meeting the deadlines and such. i'm so tired and lazy to even go out with my friends but i being a nice person i am *cough*, i find it so hard to say "no".

this weekend, we're celebrating a friend's birthday so that i can't escape. a good friend of mine wanted to go genting summore [siao!] this friday.

if you're reading this, cancel it! please? there's always next year, you know?

then going to penang next weekend with my family for my dad's cousin's daughter's wedding. or is it his cousin's daughter's daughter's wedding? whatever, i'm sleepy.

also, i'd be working the day i fly. whoa, just thinking about it makes me feel so drained out already. work from 9-6 then rush home and do some last minute packing and off to the airport. don't forget the half-day and a bit more flight to berlin. as it it's not enough torchure for me, nico suggested we go to the weihnachtsmarkt in berlin the day i arrive before we head to weisdin. don't even want to go up to his office, which is like on the 6th floor or something - by stairs!!! thinking about all these makes me want to cry already.

die, die, die.

anoo on german humor

2006-12-03T22:05:00.000+09:00

"i wore boots"

everybody (as in the germans): "hahahahahahahaahahaha"

nice smile!

2006-11-30T21:29:00.000+08:00

stole this from nico's housemate's photo-log thingy. didn't know the other german he's living with is, you know... good looking!

... well now i know.

and i gave you bunny ears!!!

hhahhahahahahaa.

(aww, du bist ganz niedlich mein schatz!)

spidery action

2006-11-27T23:21:00.000+08:00

went abseiling last saturday and it was super damned shit cool! sure, our bodies are aching like a bloody mofo till today but it was so much fun!!!

i guess i went overboard by being all pissed at jen, though she was totally in the wrong but i really shouldn't have overreacted. so, i'm sorry jen. serves her right for having to wear tim's ugly crocs, though!

muahahahahahaa...

nice shoes, jen!

anyways, chin lay the intern almost chikened out by giving some lame excuses that she needs to cook and other bullcrap. good thing we all managed to convince her to stay and abseil with us!

as jen did it before us (with an accompanying expert abseiler, mind you), 3 of us did it together. it wasn't too much of fear for me, but more of the tiring factor. stepping over the ledge was quite unnerving as my feet struggled to touch the walls - horizontally. or is it vertically? no, it's horizontal. right?

i was first to get down, despite tim leading at first and later on, after looking at the photos taken by jen, i noticed how tim 'struggled' on his way down. he had his legs spread out wide and it's hillarious!

whatever it was, it aint abseiling...

mr. spiderman-wannabe.

kancil awards 2006

2006-11-26T18:53:00.000+08:00

and i had to go to the kancil awards this time.

anoo and erin was supposed to go but anoo was in penang and erin couldn't make it. jen pulled out cause apparently she had dinner (but of course, i didn't fall for that).

was pretty boring. this time, my partner-in-crime wasn't there - edmund. he went to penang with anoo to emcee an event.

and gladys wasn't even seated at the same table as i was!

jon was a bloody idiot that night for saying something he shouldn't have said. the guys tried to hook him up with some girls but i guess girls just don't dig losers.

*evil laughter*

hot cross buns

2006-11-23T19:51:00.000+08:00

suddenly those 3 words popped into my head. then i find myself singing it at the dinner table. i went...

hot cross buns,
hot cross buns,
see how they run,
see how they run...

knew it was wrong but yet it sounds so right. so i kept repeating:

hot cross buns,
hot cross buns...

... see how they run

so i kept singing it but failed to get the lyrics right. surprisingly dad knew it.

hot cross buns,
hot cross buns,
one a penny,
two a penny,
hot cross buns.

now i remember. heh.

but it could very well be...

hot cross buns,
hot cross buns,
see how they run,
see how they run,
they all ran after the baker's wife,
she cut them in half with a butter knife,
have you ever seen such as sight in your life,
... as hot cross buns.

daddy dreamt

2006-11-23T14:39:00.000+08:00

this time, dad dreamt of being in a cooking competition. it's hilarious cause dad fries, not cooks. he fries fish, eggs, nuggets, vegetables (ok, stir-fry)...

so anyway, he was laughing as he told me that he thought it was funny himself that he got 2nd place in that cooking competition.

best part is, he won it by frying perfectly rectangular shaped 'keropoks'...

no, we're not from bella skincare

2006-11-22T15:58:00.000+08:00

my friend who's working in optical 88 sent me this! this photo was taken last friday at zouk. i actually went for the berjaya open house dinner with the 988 asst. manager and the 988 sales guy. then they dragged me along to the spotlite's 4th anniversary party.

and i even bumped into 2 old friends! not literally old, but those long-time-no-see friends. so, yeah...

bottoms down

2006-11-22T14:41:00.000+08:00

it rained during lunch today. i was happy to be able to use my new umbrella our family won for a luckydraw at some high-tea event that mum helped organize. so anyway, the interns thought i was mad for being so excited about an umbrella. they even said it's ugly! the nerve...

well, i like it cause its skinny and it has a handle. but most importantly, it's free.

the best things in life are indeed free!

the mamak shop that we went to were almost full and we had to sit inside the restaurant. chin lay complained that we were too near the drain and taht we could smell it. so we changed tables... 3 times to the point where melvin just couldn't be bothered and just sat there, with 4 chubby chefs who made the 2 tables look like 1.

so we had our lunch and walked back. i was all happy-pappy with my new umbrella and skipping and all. there was this slope where the disabled people could move with their wheelchair and melvin walked on it. i sorta skipped past him.

i was overtaking him and slowed down cause melvin's a fat arse when all of a sudden the sole of my shoes was holding on to the slippery tiled floor. i slid, or rather glided on the damned thing, frantically waving my arms, trying to maintain my balance and not to fall flat on my butt...

... but i did.

kancil air awards 2006

2006-11-11T17:35:00.000+08:00

went to the kancil air awards at shangri-la hotel last night for work. was kinda fun to see all, if not most of the people within the same industry in one place.

had to say i felt kinda awkward there as everyone pretty much knew everyone. edmund, kar wai and i were just standing at a corner. we were people watching. it was relatively fun, i'd say. but i wouldn't do this if i had the choice.

blah, blah, blah...

nothing much, really.

pity anoo wasn't there.

still emo

2006-11-10T10:24:00.000+08:00

the previous entry was actually written last night. felt somewhat shitty so i called up adran, my ex.

it was really nice to talk to him again, after sometime although we've definitely drifted apart. he's a sweet guy and i feel as if i could rely on him for emotional support. and last night, he reminded me that i still have people who cares about me.

of course, being me i'm as sceptical as ever cause i tend to indulge in self pity.

* self pity * self pity * self pity *

nobody loves meeee...

sad case

2006-11-10T10:23:00.000+08:00

i guess i'd never come first before your friends. sure, i knew that your friends are everything to you but unfortunately i haven't really come into terms with it.

of course, i would expect to be your 'everything'. well, you could at least 'pretend' that i was it.

*sigh*

suddenly damn emo.

feel like a sad case, which is really damned pathetic. would be nice to have someone who shows they care. least i still have me. =

guess i need to go out more.

so... who needs a date?